PARAPROSDOKIANS

PARAPROSDOKIANS...

(Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the
latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected;
frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.


2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.


3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.


4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.


5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.


6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..


7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it
in a fruit salad.


8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to
tell you why it isn't.


9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.


10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my
desk is a work station.


11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.


12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of
emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'


13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.


14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the
street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.


15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.


16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.


17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute
to skydive twice.


18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.


19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.


20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.


21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.


22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target.


23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.


24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.


25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car.


26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.


And mine is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder
for me to find one now.
GOT THESE FROM MY BROTHER WHO GOT THEM FROM AN E MAIL..LOL

WHERE VALID I.D.'S REQUIRED.HINT NOT WHEN VOTING

THIS IS A GR8 IDEA REPRINTED FROM A GR8 WEBSITE "CONSERVATIVE"
THANKS AND KUDOS TO THEM FOR PRINTING IT ..ANDF JOIN THEM TO
PRESERVE OUR GR8 COUNTRY...AMERICA

Comments Where valid ID’s are required (Hint: Not when voting)
February 21, 2012

When/Where valid ID’s are required:

√ – DMV
√ – Airports
√ – Hospitals
√ – Pharmacy
√ – Donating Blood
√ – Banks
√ – Gun Shop
√ – Writing a Check
√ – Adoption Agency
√ – Social Security Office
√ – Pawn Shops
√ – Jail
√ – Using a Credit Card
√ – Court
X – Voting
√ – Union Elections
It’s way past time to make this right.

THIS SHOULD BE A PRIORITY WHEN VOTING AND MUST CHANGE NOW..
ghengisjohn

"ENGLISH" ..THE LANGUAGE OF KINGS & AMERICA

BEFORE IT DIAPPEARS FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH I'M ASKING CONGRESS AND OUR ADMINISTRATION BY WAY OF THIS BLOG TO MAKE ENGLISH THE SPOKEN AND WRITTEN PRIMARY MANDATED LANGUAGE OF THE USA..PERIOD..

IF WE DON'T PRESERVE IT BY LAW RIGHT NOW IT WILL BE EXTINCT IN LESS THAN 50 YEARS DUE TO OUR OWN NEGLIGENCE..

IF YOU AGREE WRITE YOU CONGRESSMAN.. WRITE YOUR PRESIDENT.. DONATE TO THIS EFFORT SO WE CAN PRESERVE OUR OWN HERITAGE..

IT CAN BE DONE BY A STOKE OF THE PEN AND IT'S TIME TO ACT RIGHT NOW..
DON'T LET THIS BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE DIE BECAUSE WE FAILED TO ACT.. ghengisjohn